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Him: I wish I’d known you better before you left. Her: If you knew me better I wouldn’t have left.

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Let’s not play “the blame game”. Let’s not think about who cared more.

We’re not looking for a perfect match, you don’t really feel well around the infallible.

We’re looking for someone that makes life worth it.

What is passion for a human being, if not a hobby to the power of …..?

How do you not know what to get her for her birthday?

How did you only found out during an argument that she’s bored out of her mind in Spain and she’s only going because you insist. Because you can’t realise she wants to go France, even after she packed the fridge door with magnets received from her friends?

What do you do when you have to admit you don’t know her?

Her luggage is packed.

Her taxi is downstairs.

The clock is ticking. You wish you could stop it. YOU CAN’T.

How much did you want to explore? A couple centimetres?

To be content by just knowing a woman physically its like walking to the Taj Mahal just so you can take a picture of the entrance…… :))

Every human is more than just a body. Maybe even a story.

And stories have this annoying habit of continuing without the essential elements.

You just found out you’re one of them….. 🙂

It’s GAME OVER and you ran out of lives.

And then words of no meaning are thrown around. Or maybe they have meaning because there’s some situations when there’s nothing you can do but be wise and learn from it.

Him: I wish I’d known you better before you left.
Her: If you knew me better I wouldn’t have left.

Mandatory happiness.

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The fact that you’re single creates your parents displeasure.

Your friends think you’re on a leash because you didn’t go out for a beer when Chelsea won.

It looks dubious to employers if you haven’t worked for 6 months. You become unadaptable  when you refuse disgraceful jobs…

Walking to the grocery story becomes torture to every driver.

If others had my blog they would make £5000 a month.

It was always easier for others to tell us how our lives should be lived. It’s like everyone becomes a marital counsellor after 2 beers.

After a couple more beers, they know what’s best for the country…..

You only have one woman? You’re probably sharing her with a co-worker, you just don’t know it.

It’s a bit crowded in mediocrity. Hold onto the ones that escaped it. The ones that you don’t have to pretend around.

Happiness is not mandatory in the same way sincerity is not always convenient.

And the people that would live your life better, better live their own.


How NOT to start a conversation with a woman you don’t know…

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I find the title amusing. Why? Because a woman will know whether she wants to sleep with you or not from first sight. The only thing you can do is change her mind into saying NO.

There’s some subconscious sortation or maybe even very  conscious.

Everything can start from this point….

Women are the best liars and the best detectors of lies. So I think it’s more PROFITABLE to not lie and be so sure of yourself. Better a truth, faltering.  If you’re on the list….she’s going to say you faultered “cutely”, proving sensitivity. If you’re not….she’ll think you’re semi-retarded…

Life is not fair. :)))))

I’m a big fan of a the guy who has the charm of not lying when creating a conversation. I believe in common choices. From the first seconds. I choose to speak, she chooses to listen.

I believe in weighing the chances before you approach her. I believe in eye contact. I know that for some this is hard, but they will learn to like it. I believe in “Hey”,in a good joke, in a nice handshake or a smile like an opening at poker.

If she reciprocates with a smile then the stakes have doubled…….


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You need to be told when you declare your love?/ Valentine’s Day

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I’m a sort of Grinch of Valentine’s Day.

But I’m not the only one who would vomit if they saw miles of hearts.

I was with a friend when we turned around after we entered Card Factory……and we actually had something to buy from there…. 😀

Love is not boredom. How exactly does it work? 14th  of February is the day when you pretend you’re both more intensely attracted to each other?

Love is an extreme sport. It’s a fight. It’s a cup of “hot life”. Someone  in love  won’t listen to his relatives,friends or even his own rationality. He can’t be part of the zombie army that looks for happiness in malls and hope to find it at clearance.

Happiness costs.

Love’s epicentre isn’t in a day….but in two souls.

14 of February is a day for the people that never had it. They don’t know what it feels like or they haven’t had it in a while…..they want to prove some people their life is amazing too…..and that….they’re “blending” in.

News flash. The way the world looks……………………………………………………………………………………..let me get off at the next stop.

I would take a girl out on Valentine’s day. But it wouldn’t be any different than any other night I took my girlfriend out.  You need someone to tell you when to have a special day with your “special”? WOW? Buy her a bear that says “I love you”. That should do it. Take her to the stars every night. Not just on one night. That, if you can even take her to the stars. 🙂

Seriously, live a little. Laugh a lot. Share only if you dare. 🙂

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What does the perfect relationship look like, for those who don’t have it….

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Men imagine the perfect relationship like a car, beautiful and resistant. Everyone needs to admire her at a traffic light…..But the ideal car doesn’t exist, and women and cars are alike, if you don’t take care of them, they leave you. 🙂

Woman imagine the perfect relationship, more through negation….

They don’t want things to happen again, especially those that sucked.

He has to follow some rules:

To not drink.

To not look after other women.

To not… …..hurt me….

To increase the volume of the orgasm .

To increase the volume of the pectorals…and other volumes until they are just “right”….

Some just want a magical remote  for their relationship, one that fast forwards ….

Men would reduce her volume, maybe even mute her when she’s in the mood for arguing…

Its all about not forgetting her on “pause”.

Interest doesn’t die out in the perfect relationship. That can’t happen. Especially when there’s that discrete sense of insecurity. A bit of jealousy is essential ( I don’t mean murder ) 😀

Communication goes smooth. As smooth as a Concorde flying 10 m above you. 🙂

The funny thing is, when you get to that age, having the perfect relationship, you start complicating things. We’re humans, we don’t like easy things, everything has to be complicated.

You see his passions become “tiring”.  He sees your friends just as tiring….

You see 2-3 defects and think that’s a lot. Hundreds other qualities are omitted.

Clearly, she needs to change some things about herself….. After she left you realise there were some things YOU needed to change.

Then you wonder why your hands feel so empty without hers.

And you search……..

You don’t find the perfect relationship, you construct it.


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The biggest compliment you can give a woman + RANT

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Some of you will start formulating compliments in your head before approaching a woman. The most common compliment that comes to your mind when reading the title is “you’re beautiful”. Nostradamus, or what?

You can call a woman beautiful but a woman who knows her value knows that. So, is that the biggest compliment? Only if it was, it’d make my life a lot easier and this post a lot shorter. 🙂 She’s heard it before. Also, how can the most used compliment be the BIGGEST? How do you even consider it a compliment when this sentence is used around the world, every second I reckon? Same compliment, different receiver. I’m more of a “you’re sweater suits you” kind of guy…..

While we’re on the topic of beauty I have something to rant about. I see this every day. Why is it that girls that need a chisel and a hammer to take their make-up off, the kind of girl that looks like she fell in a bucket of plaster gets so rude and cocky because some random desperate guy called her pretty? Not even pretty, “hot”. And you know what pisses me off, what makes my blood boil in my veins? The fact that the plasticated ones talk down on the naturally pretty ones, the ones that are humble enough to not say anything. The ones that are quiet, not bothering anyone. SUCH RAGE.

When you behave like a moron around her, she knows you’re comfortable enough, she might take that as the biggest compliment, or she might think you’re retarded.

Some of you might not be able to relate, but do you know that feeling when you engage in a thought provoking conversation with your friend and you have so much fun? Can you imagine having that with a woman? I can. It’s a different feeling. Now that can be a real contender to the prize of biggest compliment. That in a woman can be delicious…….

Some might think the biggest compliment anyone has ever given them is that their dance in the bedroom is fabulous. 🙂

I can go on forever. List endless possibilities but the truth is …………..diversity. We all come from different backgrounds, have different expectations, different reasoning. Some might find one the things I just listed as the biggest compliment, and some might find it as the biggest insult. They work that way 🙂

As to what I think is the biggest compliment you could give a woman…….It’s a friendly compliment……………………..”I like the way your husband/fiancee/boyfriend thinks.”

PS: A compliment is supposed to be something you haven’t thought of, something  unexpected…

People are amazing.

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I have so much respect for people that do amazing things, people that go out of their comfort zone, people that risk their life to entertain you for a minute.  People who take pleasure in making you feel amazing. As I said in one of my older posts: There are people who drawn from a glass of water and people that can swim from England to France.

People that dedicate their life to a certain passion. People who give away family to pursue what they love. It fascinates me that some people turn out to be such amazing husband/wife material and some people turn out to be a lone wolfs. People that wonder the world seeing things most of us will never get to. Why? Because people have choices. You make your own life, not one is going to make it the way you want. There’s so many places to go, so many things to see, so many situations I crave to be in, so many experiences I want to go through, so many people I want to meet, so many things I want to learn, the hard way.

It’s mind-blowing how some people have certain principles. Although I hate biology and chemistry, I love what the human mind can do. The places it can take you, surrounded by the 4 walls of your room. Just close your eyes and dream. People that have that ability, I envy you, so much.

I was in college the other day and I had this conversation with this guy, I asked him if he drinks alcohol. He calmly said: “I don’t drink”. I looked at him bewildered, my ignorance not realising the diversity in people. I aggressively asked him if he had ever tried it…….He looked in my eyes and smiled, saying: “I don’t drink”.  He had that look on his face, like he didn’t understand my stupefaction. That’s human nature….

Sure, you have people that stab you in the back for a greater salary, and you have people that think they stole your girlfriend. Of course he doesn’t realise that if you allowed him to steal her, she stopped being yours before he even got there or should I say in there. 🙂

You also have people that annoy me until my blood starts to boil. They’re still people, they’re still fascinating, just not to me. People that have a hard time comprehending logical reasoning. Because everything in this world happens at the wish of a supernatural god that punishes you when you sin. SUCH LAUGH.

I find astonishing this rule people created. I was on my way to college the other day, I took my packet of cigarettes out, realising I had like 18 left I fainted a smile. 20 seconds later, someone walks up to me and asks me:”Do you have a spare cigarette?”. Mind-blowing. Not “I’ve seen you take your cigarettes out, can I please have one?”. No, of course not. You can’t put someone you don’t know in an awkward situation. You have to ask if they have a spare one, although you’ve seen their packet. There are certain rules that we follow, without even realising it.

It mesmerises me to learn about people, to see what makes them tick, what makes them do things, what makes them blindly follow religion, what makes them be so passionate about science, what makes people make the choices they make. I want to know their stories. I want to……KNOW.

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Choose to be happy, it’s good for your health…

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If you walked up to me and asked me what I wanted from life I would have given you a totally different answer 3-4 years ago than I’d give now.  I’d have said financial stability, you know, not astronomical sums, but enough not to worry what to eat or how to pay the rent/mortgage.

I’d give a different answer now. I’d say I’d choose health. If you’re healthy, you have the ultimate freedom. You can do all the things you wish to do, even the ones you wish not to. Vices are for people who can afford them. 🙂

What really annoys me is that people have choices. And most of the times they make the wrong ones. DON’T LET THEM TAKE WHAT’S BEST IN LIFE. Never stop, you can achieve what you want. This book that I’m reading at the moment called “The Power” by Rhonda Byrne kind of emphasises on your thought process. She elaborates on how your thoughts and actions attract positive or negative things to you. As a example if you’re irritated you’ll attract back to you all people, circumstances , and events that will make your day stressful. Think of negative things and nature will give you to you in floods.

Most people don’t realise how much freedom they have. From doing WHATEVER you want to doing it with WHOEVER you want. Remember, if you don’t ask they answer will always be no. I value freedom greatly. The fact that I can go anywhere at any time, I think that’s the richest thing in my life, wouldn’t trade it for anything.

The way I see it, there are people that spend their life dying and there are people who LIVE life. I want more people to “feel”…..You have the sense of sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch so that you can feel everything in life. Why is it that so many of us choose to focus on the things we don’t have as opposed to focusing on the things we do have. People need to realise that the glass it’s always full, it’s a matter of perception.

It’s cold outside at the moment. Britain in January…… Now I could say the weather here sucks or I could go outside and feel.

I love women, but sometimes I really want to mop the floor with them.

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When a woman tells a guy: “You’re arrogant, annoying and insensible”, she’s actually telling him:”You’re attractive, argh, what I’d do to you…..and I hate myself for it” 🙂

What really pisses me off is the attitude women have towards other woman.

Can you blame a woman that receives 20 offers a day that she had 20 boyfriends in the past 15 years? Of course you can, if you’re one of the ‘genetically less fortunate’ who has to start 20 conversations before some guy has some faint interest. Now, you’re going to hold onto him with your teeth and you’re somehow under the impression you’re some goddess of fidelity. HA HA HA

When she feels her man is looking after some beautiful lady, she casually brings out the secrets: she just got divorced…..or my favourite “they say she has a new lover every season”. What would I answer? I wouldn’t mind being summer. 🙂

I noticed you women do this a lot. I heard it too. This is golden. “Look how ugly that women in Playboy is”. You can say pretty much anything about the women in playboy, that they’re helped in Photoshop, that they’re vulgar, that they’re not your type  but a truly ugly woman would not appear on the cover of Playboy.

The farther away from the beauty spectrum the more bitchy they get. That bitchiness comes in floods. I agree, not having “action” is a handicap, just like not having a hand……you should be allowed to park in disabled spaces at Tescos as a small moral adjustment.

So teach your son that women are whores, liars, materialistic and it’s not going to take long until he makes the connection…..and he’ll treat you exactly how you deserve….like a stupid whore that you are,a heteroclite mother that contributes to the ugliness of the world.

And he will treat all women in his life badly, which, if they respected each other more……they would receive that respect, that in their beautiful days deserve.

PS: How many women would secretly agree with me on this?


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Yours,  A M Maxim

People don’t forgive you if you’re happy

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I’m feeling on a different level at the moment and I’d like to share what I’m thinking with the very few people that click on my boring posts.

It just occurred to me that we seek our happiness in other people’s sadness. I don’t know if I’m stupid because I hadn’t realised that before or I’m really smart for realising it at this age.

You get that kind of people that ask you “how are you?” “I’m good, feeling very happy.” Then you get a reply like “ahh” and then that feeling of disapproval. The kind of person that thinks he knows everything, been through everything, that he knows what’s best for you. You know when he says “I’m very happy for you….that he’s saying that with  ‘half a mouth’. You can see it on his face. That he’s suffering terribly because you’re doing ok. Because you have the courage to say: “yes, I’m happy”. But only that you say that. You can see it on your face.

And that face annoys the person so much……He’s the kind of person that would tell you that “love lasts 3 years, that the ending of Love Story kinda sucked,  that Tristan and Isolde didn’t have just a perfect relationship, that Romeo and Julie was just ok. This kind of people are really good when you get in trouble. He’s the kind that will tell you:”You’re not ok??? It’s going to be just fine”.

That’s when he activates. His senses come to extreme sensitivity when he hears you’re not okay. He’s the kind that gets upset because you’re happy.

So I smile, make bad jokes, laugh as much as possible,live each moment to the highest intensity. I like to laugh and live.

Yours, A M Maxim