Men

Him: I wish I’d known you better before you left. Her: If you knew me better I wouldn’t have left.

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Let’s not play “the blame game”. Let’s not think about who cared more.

We’re not looking for a perfect match, you don’t really feel well around the infallible.

We’re looking for someone that makes life worth it.

What is passion for a human being, if not a hobby to the power of …..?

How do you not know what to get her for her birthday?

How did you only found out during an argument that she’s bored out of her mind in Spain and she’s only going because you insist. Because you can’t realise she wants to go France, even after she packed the fridge door with magnets received from her friends?

What do you do when you have to admit you don’t know her?

Her luggage is packed.

Her taxi is downstairs.

The clock is ticking. You wish you could stop it. YOU CAN’T.

How much did you want to explore? A couple centimetres?

To be content by just knowing a woman physically its like walking to the Taj Mahal just so you can take a picture of the entrance…… :))

Every human is more than just a body. Maybe even a story.

And stories have this annoying habit of continuing without the essential elements.

You just found out you’re one of them….. 🙂

It’s GAME OVER and you ran out of lives.

And then words of no meaning are thrown around. Or maybe they have meaning because there’s some situations when there’s nothing you can do but be wise and learn from it.

Him: I wish I’d known you better before you left.
Her: If you knew me better I wouldn’t have left.

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What does the perfect relationship look like, for those who don’t have it….

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Men imagine the perfect relationship like a car, beautiful and resistant. Everyone needs to admire her at a traffic light…..But the ideal car doesn’t exist, and women and cars are alike, if you don’t take care of them, they leave you. 🙂

Woman imagine the perfect relationship, more through negation….

They don’t want things to happen again, especially those that sucked.

He has to follow some rules:

To not drink.

To not look after other women.

To not… …..hurt me….

To increase the volume of the orgasm .

To increase the volume of the pectorals…and other volumes until they are just “right”….

Some just want a magical remote  for their relationship, one that fast forwards ….

Men would reduce her volume, maybe even mute her when she’s in the mood for arguing…

Its all about not forgetting her on “pause”.

Interest doesn’t die out in the perfect relationship. That can’t happen. Especially when there’s that discrete sense of insecurity. A bit of jealousy is essential ( I don’t mean murder ) 😀

Communication goes smooth. As smooth as a Concorde flying 10 m above you. 🙂

The funny thing is, when you get to that age, having the perfect relationship, you start complicating things. We’re humans, we don’t like easy things, everything has to be complicated.

You see his passions become “tiring”.  He sees your friends just as tiring….

You see 2-3 defects and think that’s a lot. Hundreds other qualities are omitted.

Clearly, she needs to change some things about herself….. After she left you realise there were some things YOU needed to change.

Then you wonder why your hands feel so empty without hers.

And you search……..

You don’t find the perfect relationship, you construct it.

 

Image source: www.counselingforcontentment.com

Is it her fault for the scars left by someone else?

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Is it her fault you let your past haunts you?

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Mistrust is like a preventive slap. Every promise is a hazard. We don’t enter a relationship like the villains in movies. We don’t go on a first date with a diabolical plan to win her trust. After we got it, we don’t use a silver knife to cut her soul in little pieces. No one can promise a future that will change us…..

Women are disposed to believe stories. She’s kissed many frogs, you might turn out to be a prince.

We, men, suffer from retrospective paranoia. If someone just cheated on him, all women are undiscovered whores, temporarily.

If his ex was “spendy” then you better not bring your £800 Chanel bag on the first date. If his ex gained a bit of weight, you better expect him to look if you’ve finished your meal, even if you ordered salad.

He’s so scared of the last relationship he isn’t even enjoying himself around you. He’s analysing you, comparing everything you do with his last consort. God forbid if you share one or two traits.

If you ask me, we’re not paranoid. We’ve been there, done that. We know these womanly circumventions very well.

So I have to ask, why would you want to start over again with someone who lives in the past, someone who brings all the negativity with him? Why would you want someone who projects everything that happens in the past on present’s board? That’s a relationship without………………………without a future.

Image source: www.123rf.com

Yours, A M MAXIM

Why are we immune to words?

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Because men are like advertisements: the description has nothing to do with the product.

After all, actions are what we expect from one another, it’s a lot easier to say than to do.

Big words often hide sensitive souls, which hide like children in mummy’s shoes.

You can’t walk in words. You can’t try to convince with promises. What’s fair, there are men that work 2 jobs and think that’s enough. They work for the happiness of the couple but leave it halved…..

It may be unfair that some of these people wake up alone. On the other hand how many people sleep together in the same bed, ALONE? Maybe it is unfair. But we need something sweet at the end of the meal, even though that doesn’t kill your hunger.

It’s hard to balance, it’s hard not to succeed. You don’t have to. Men like in movies only exist in movies.

Negative characters exist in everyone’s subconsciousness.

I’m extremely skeptical when someone compliments me, especially when it’s usually followed by a request.

Women are very skeptical to promises, especially since they are followed by nothing.

 

Dress code

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Clothes have stopped being something that keeps you warm, an accessory.

Clothes are words.

Invitations.

Warnings.

When a staggering beauty walks past a couple and she’s grabbing his hand like a police officer would escort a criminal. That short dress is saying:” I could have him, if I wanted to”

We, men think that they they dress for us or for them. In most cases they dress………for other women.

You have to realise that you’re having a discussion with her before you open your mouth. It’s more complicated to convince a woman that you’re the man of her life if you’re wearing a red tracksuit…….unless she owns a company that sells tracksuits.

You have a date, you’re dressed OK. You had some advice from your friends. Your clothes say what is needed to be said.

When her clothes speak to you it doesn’t hurt to understand the message.

One button left open or closed on her comfortable shirt she’s waiting for you in can mean “what are you waiting for?!?!?” or “not on the first date”.

However the fact that she’s wearing shorts in her house doesn’t mean it’s an invitation…..especially if it’s summer. Haven’t you heard of global warming?

An elegant “hot” dress doesn’t mean get me naked immediately. That’s not why she paid 3 medium salaries for it. It means “take me somewhere nice, court me”

While a really short dress on a maths olympic doesn’t mean that the nerd is actually a whore but it could mean after 2 weeks of going out maybe you should try to go……….:)

Real men

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Some people tend to think the age of 18 is somehow the boundary between “boys” and “men”. HAH. I laugh.

So what are real men like?

Well, real mean like to abuse their woman. Feeling strong eh? Real men like to have the last word, ALWAYS. A real man will never admit when he’s wrong although he knows it.

Real men don’t cry. HAH.  Real men don’t show feelings, after all, men are brutes.  Real men don’t get sad when they get rejected but they do go home and sit in a corner thinking what they could have said to improve their chances.

Real men don’t bring flowers to their girlfriends or boyfriends 🙂 . No, that would make them look weak in front of their friends. Real men don’t wash dishes, that’s for women, right? Cooking is out of the question, that shit is also for for women.

Real men don’t respect the elders because respect is earned not given. Real men don’t hold the door open for people, unless it’s a “hot” woman. Can’t pass on the opportunity to stare at her “behind”, it’s what makes us feel like men. Real men got used to getting their way with sluts so easily they forgot the art of seducing a “real” woman.

I strongly suggest you treat “real” men with superiority on the basis: Don’t die, shut up and continue living in a cave.

If you’re a real man and you know it, do whatever the fuck you want to.

Yours, A M Maxim