Him: I wish I’d known you better before you left. Her: If you knew me better I wouldn’t have left.

Posted on

Let’s not play “the blame game”. Let’s not think about who cared more.

We’re not looking for a perfect match, you don’t really feel well around the infallible.

We’re looking for someone that makes life worth it.

What is passion for a human being, if not a hobby to the power of …..?

How do you not know what to get her for her birthday?

How did you only found out during an argument that she’s bored out of her mind in Spain and she’s only going because you insist. Because you can’t realise she wants to go France, even after she packed the fridge door with magnets received from her friends?

What do you do when you have to admit you don’t know her?

Her luggage is packed.

Her taxi is downstairs.

The clock is ticking. You wish you could stop it. YOU CAN’T.

How much did you want to explore? A couple centimetres?

To be content by just knowing a woman physically its like walking to the Taj Mahal just so you can take a picture of the entrance…… :))

Every human is more than just a body. Maybe even a story.

And stories have this annoying habit of continuing without the essential elements.

You just found out you’re one of them….. 🙂

It’s GAME OVER and you ran out of lives.

And then words of no meaning are thrown around. Or maybe they have meaning because there’s some situations when there’s nothing you can do but be wise and learn from it.

Him: I wish I’d known you better before you left.
Her: If you knew me better I wouldn’t have left.


What does the perfect relationship look like, for those who don’t have it….

Posted on Updated on

download (4)

Men imagine the perfect relationship like a car, beautiful and resistant. Everyone needs to admire her at a traffic light…..But the ideal car doesn’t exist, and women and cars are alike, if you don’t take care of them, they leave you. 🙂

Woman imagine the perfect relationship, more through negation….

They don’t want things to happen again, especially those that sucked.

He has to follow some rules:

To not drink.

To not look after other women.

To not… …..hurt me….

To increase the volume of the orgasm .

To increase the volume of the pectorals…and other volumes until they are just “right”….

Some just want a magical remote  for their relationship, one that fast forwards ….

Men would reduce her volume, maybe even mute her when she’s in the mood for arguing…

Its all about not forgetting her on “pause”.

Interest doesn’t die out in the perfect relationship. That can’t happen. Especially when there’s that discrete sense of insecurity. A bit of jealousy is essential ( I don’t mean murder ) 😀

Communication goes smooth. As smooth as a Concorde flying 10 m above you. 🙂

The funny thing is, when you get to that age, having the perfect relationship, you start complicating things. We’re humans, we don’t like easy things, everything has to be complicated.

You see his passions become “tiring”.  He sees your friends just as tiring….

You see 2-3 defects and think that’s a lot. Hundreds other qualities are omitted.

Clearly, she needs to change some things about herself….. After she left you realise there were some things YOU needed to change.

Then you wonder why your hands feel so empty without hers.

And you search……..

You don’t find the perfect relationship, you construct it.


Image source: www.counselingforcontentment.com

The biggest compliment you can give a woman + RANT

Posted on Updated on


Some of you will start formulating compliments in your head before approaching a woman. The most common compliment that comes to your mind when reading the title is “you’re beautiful”. Nostradamus, or what?

You can call a woman beautiful but a woman who knows her value knows that. So, is that the biggest compliment? Only if it was, it’d make my life a lot easier and this post a lot shorter. 🙂 She’s heard it before. Also, how can the most used compliment be the BIGGEST? How do you even consider it a compliment when this sentence is used around the world, every second I reckon? Same compliment, different receiver. I’m more of a “you’re sweater suits you” kind of guy…..

While we’re on the topic of beauty I have something to rant about. I see this every day. Why is it that girls that need a chisel and a hammer to take their make-up off, the kind of girl that looks like she fell in a bucket of plaster gets so rude and cocky because some random desperate guy called her pretty? Not even pretty, “hot”. And you know what pisses me off, what makes my blood boil in my veins? The fact that the plasticated ones talk down on the naturally pretty ones, the ones that are humble enough to not say anything. The ones that are quiet, not bothering anyone. SUCH RAGE.

When you behave like a moron around her, she knows you’re comfortable enough, she might take that as the biggest compliment, or she might think you’re retarded.

Some of you might not be able to relate, but do you know that feeling when you engage in a thought provoking conversation with your friend and you have so much fun? Can you imagine having that with a woman? I can. It’s a different feeling. Now that can be a real contender to the prize of biggest compliment. That in a woman can be delicious…….

Some might think the biggest compliment anyone has ever given them is that their dance in the bedroom is fabulous. 🙂

I can go on forever. List endless possibilities but the truth is …………..diversity. We all come from different backgrounds, have different expectations, different reasoning. Some might find one the things I just listed as the biggest compliment, and some might find it as the biggest insult. They work that way 🙂

As to what I think is the biggest compliment you could give a woman…….It’s a friendly compliment……………………..”I like the way your husband/fiancee/boyfriend thinks.”

PS: A compliment is supposed to be something you haven’t thought of, something  unexpected…

I love women, but sometimes I really want to mop the floor with them.

Posted on Updated on


When a woman tells a guy: “You’re arrogant, annoying and insensible”, she’s actually telling him:”You’re attractive, argh, what I’d do to you…..and I hate myself for it” 🙂

What really pisses me off is the attitude women have towards other woman.

Can you blame a woman that receives 20 offers a day that she had 20 boyfriends in the past 15 years? Of course you can, if you’re one of the ‘genetically less fortunate’ who has to start 20 conversations before some guy has some faint interest. Now, you’re going to hold onto him with your teeth and you’re somehow under the impression you’re some goddess of fidelity. HA HA HA

When she feels her man is looking after some beautiful lady, she casually brings out the secrets: she just got divorced…..or my favourite “they say she has a new lover every season”. What would I answer? I wouldn’t mind being summer. 🙂

I noticed you women do this a lot. I heard it too. This is golden. “Look how ugly that women in Playboy is”. You can say pretty much anything about the women in playboy, that they’re helped in Photoshop, that they’re vulgar, that they’re not your type  but a truly ugly woman would not appear on the cover of Playboy.

The farther away from the beauty spectrum the more bitchy they get. That bitchiness comes in floods. I agree, not having “action” is a handicap, just like not having a hand……you should be allowed to park in disabled spaces at Tescos as a small moral adjustment.

So teach your son that women are whores, liars, materialistic and it’s not going to take long until he makes the connection…..and he’ll treat you exactly how you deserve….like a stupid whore that you are,a heteroclite mother that contributes to the ugliness of the world.

And he will treat all women in his life badly, which, if they respected each other more……they would receive that respect, that in their beautiful days deserve.

PS: How many women would secretly agree with me on this?


Image source: www.goodenoughmother.com

Yours,  A M Maxim

What to do when your girlfriend/wife decides to leave you…..

Posted on


When she tells you she doesn’t like your grumpy face when you wake up in the morning…..or that she’s sick of you…..

Start begging and go on all fours asking for mercy. Tell her you can’t live without her…..All this nonsense that you’d do. DON’T. You can’t stop a woman from leaving. You can only make her not want to.

When she tells you she wants to leave your pathetic being ask her the following: “Are you sure?”  If she replies with “yes”  say “Ok, bye” and move on with your life….Ask her if she needs any help, with moving her stuff out of your apartment, of course….

If you can’t live without her, if the sun rises and sets above her, if you can’t perceive a world without her, if your weather forecast depends on her smile then your only chance is this. If you want the slightest chance of reconciliation at some point in life then do this. By trying to lick her high heels you’re only going to prolong this unnecessary pain….and she will see this….she will realise your slavery and will crush you. Believe me, it’s her instinct to do so.

If you manage to change her mind through humiliation then I assure you she’ll want to leave again , and soon. Why? Because you just showed her that you’re something she wipes the floor with.

Just by saying “Ok, bye” you made her think. Hold on, I said I was leaving him and he said ok? UH-OH. Her pride will work for you and against her.


Image source: divorcedwomenonline.com

Yours, A M Maxim.

Is it her fault for the scars left by someone else?

Posted on Updated on

Is it her fault you let your past haunts you?


Mistrust is like a preventive slap. Every promise is a hazard. We don’t enter a relationship like the villains in movies. We don’t go on a first date with a diabolical plan to win her trust. After we got it, we don’t use a silver knife to cut her soul in little pieces. No one can promise a future that will change us…..

Women are disposed to believe stories. She’s kissed many frogs, you might turn out to be a prince.

We, men, suffer from retrospective paranoia. If someone just cheated on him, all women are undiscovered whores, temporarily.

If his ex was “spendy” then you better not bring your £800 Chanel bag on the first date. If his ex gained a bit of weight, you better expect him to look if you’ve finished your meal, even if you ordered salad.

He’s so scared of the last relationship he isn’t even enjoying himself around you. He’s analysing you, comparing everything you do with his last consort. God forbid if you share one or two traits.

If you ask me, we’re not paranoid. We’ve been there, done that. We know these womanly circumventions very well.

So I have to ask, why would you want to start over again with someone who lives in the past, someone who brings all the negativity with him? Why would you want someone who projects everything that happens in the past on present’s board? That’s a relationship without………………………without a future.

Image source: www.123rf.com

Yours, A M MAXIM

Where do we find beauty?

Posted on Updated on

“The experience of “beauty” often involves an interpretation of some entity as being in balance and harmony with nature, which may lead to feelings of attraction and emotional well-being. Because this can be a subjective experience, it is often said that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

As soon as we mention beauty we think of women. Some of us think about that woman we passed by today that was so aesthetically pleasing. Beauty right? If you’re in this position, live a little, idiot.

I think the ability to find beauty in everything is a necessity. Too many people want more when they could work with what they have. The glass is never half full or empty, there’s always something in there, you just have to SEE it.


One of my special friends is in Vienna right now and she sent me this. How many of us would say it’s too cold, or the weather is obnoxious? I’d just sit down on a bench, smoke a cigarette and just take in the view. Actually, I’m lying, I’d smoke more than one.

We can find beauty in nature, the awesome machinery that nature is.

What’s more beautiful than a  lioness adopting an antelope, her pray? This is mind blowing. If animals can do this, why can’t we live peacefully as humans? Why do we need so many wars? Oh that’s right, the americans need oil.

We can find beauty in hobbies. Doing what you like is beautiful, it pleases you, otherwise why are you doing it? ^_^

The beauty in art. You know the Sistine Chapel? You’re Michelangelo and what you’re doing is the Sistine chapel.

You can find beauty in women. I don’t mean physical beauty, that will pass. I’m talking about the beauty beneath the mask, beneath her beautiful.